


Stardust

by JoKessho



Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, ex-sorato, jyoura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 13:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11968551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoKessho/pseuds/JoKessho
Summary: Taichi and Yamato start dating in their final year of high school, but problems arise when they need to start planning their futures, which may not include the other. Written for Digimon Adventure Bang 2016, re-written 2017.Colalboration art: d0kamon.tumblr.com/post/147256792655/my-contribution-to-digimon-adventure-bang-2016





	Stardust

**Author's Note:**

> Re-written in 2017. I clarified parts and made the ending fit the theme better, based on feedback (thank you Cyclone5000 and 50cyg). If there’s still something you think should be changed or if you notice typos, please don’t hesitate to let me know.
> 
> This is slightly AU, in that 02 did not happen.

-o-o-o-

**Digimon Adventure Big Bang Challenge 2016 – Theme: Rebirth**

-o-o-o-o-o-

_The fight was raging on and I kept yelling at the others to stay back. We all knew that Wargreymon and I wouldn’t last much longer against Piemon, but I would not let the others get hurt. There was only one person I would allow to join me in the foray—Yamato. I just had to wait a bit longer and he would come to my rescue. He will be able to save me. I knew. I believed. And he didn’t let me down._

_Yamato arrived on the scene, shouting and crying._

_He scooped me up into his arms, whilst Garurumon tended to Wargreymon._

_As I looked into his shimmering blue eyes, I could feel his heartbeat—feel his very soul—and I knew I was saved. We were all saved. By an angel._

_That is all I could describe him as in that moment: an angel. He had descended from Heaven, to give me new life._

-o-o-o-

I had been living my ‘new life’ for six years, now, and I felt like I was living in Hell. I had fallen in love with my best friend in that defining moment when he had cried for me and given me new strength. It was torturous to have the blond so close, but be unable to love him. This was Hell.

In that euphoric rebirth, I had vowed to tell Yamato exactly how I felt. The confession had been on the tip of my tongue. Things had gotten hectic, however; the fight had continued. I had had to shift my focus back to Piemon and to beating him.

With all that happened afterwards, I forgot my vow.

I only remembered it later, when we had returned to our world. And I had chickened out. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t risk our friendship.

So here we are: six years later and still best friends. Only friends. I do suppose lovers are best friends, too, but they’re also so much more than that. I want that with Yamato. I can’t have that, though; he’s dating Sora.

The mobile phone on my bedside table beeps. A message. I reach over from my lying position and grab the device.

It’s just past noon on a Saturday. The sun’s out. I’m in my room, lying on my bed, being lazy. I hope the message is from one of my friends—fingers crossed it’s Yamato—asking me to hang out or do something. I could use the company—especially if it’s Yamato’s. Misery does love company. With my current thoughts, I’m the epitome of misery.

The message is only two words: _It’s over_

Those two words change everything.

My eyes widen and I spring up from the bed, dash out of my room, shove my shoes on, and rush out the house.

The message _had_ been from Yamato, but it wasn’t the expected offer of company. There was no need for him to clarify or explain. I understood.

Yamato and Sora had broken up.

I made it to the Ishida residence in record time. I rang the bell, whilst knocking frantically. Nothing. I tried again. Still nothing. I continued knocking on the door; there was no way I would let my best friend wallow in self-pity. It’s like our roles had been reversed in the span of a few minutes: he was now the miserable one that needed company.

“Taichi?”

My head whipped around to look to the staircase. Yamato was standing there, head cocked to the side in confusion, grocery bag hanging from his left hand.

“You got here sooner than I expected.” He stated, walking towards his door, where I stood stupefied.

“You weren’t at home.” I noted dumbly.

He shook his head, pulling out keys and unlocking the door. He pushed it open and motioned for me to go in.

I entered the apartment, toeing off my shoes. Yamato followed in silence, closing the door behind himself, before making his way to the kitchen. He lifted the fabric tote bag onto the counter—he started hating plastic after we had watched a documentary about it ruining the environment—and proceeded to unpack his purchases.

“...Are you ok?” I braved, after a few more minutes of silence.

The blond had his back to me, so I couldn’t see his face. He shrugged a shoulder.

I was at a loss: Yamato wasn’t very good at hiding his emotions, but—at the same time—he was. He wasn’t very good at expressing positive emotions—happiness, appreciation, fondness—but anger and annoyance he was good at. What about sadness? Misery? I know he used to suffer from depression, but that was cured by our adventures in the Digital World. Could this cause a relapse?

“Taichi?” He asked again, startling me from my musings. I looked at him and our eyes locked. His held the tiniest hint of amusement. “Stop thinking so much; I’m fine.”

I didn’t believe him, especially since he tore his eyes away from mine. Courageously, I took a few steps towards him and pulled him into a hug. His first reaction was to pull away, but I had anticipated it, so my hold was tight. I did, however, relax my hold once he relented. He let his head fall onto my shoulder.

We stood there, embracing in the middle of his kitchen, in silence.

“I had to break up with her. I couldn’t do it anymore; I couldn’t pretend another day.”

I turned my head as much as I could, trying to look at him, but it was hard since he was so close. I contented myself with murmuring into his silky hair: “What do you mean?”

Yamato pulled back, keeping his hands on my waist, but looking down at the floor. “I don’t love her. I like her, but I don’t love her like I’m supposed to.”

“Yama...”

Angrily, he brushed away a stray tear from his cheek. “I hate myself for putting her through that.” That statement broke my heart. “I knew from the beginning that I wouldn’t be good for her, but I was too much of a coward to turn her down right away. I didn’t want to hurt her back then. But now I’ve made it even worse.” His voice was getting more and more choked as he spoke. I remained quiet, letting him purge. “It would have been so much better to say no in the beginning, but I accepted her confession and made her suffer for almost a year. I know that she was unhappy, and that I couldn’t ever make her happy. She really does love me, I know that. I just can’t return it. I wish I could. But I can’t. I just can’t, Taichi!”

“Shh,” I stepped forward again, re-wrapping my arms around him tightly              . “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. We can’t control how we feel. It’ll be fine.”

“No it won’t.” Yamato sobbed into my shoulder. “She’ll hate me forever!”

“No!” I pushed him away firmly and placed my hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. “She won’t hate you; she has no reason to.” I wiped away his tears with my thumbs. “You know how strong she is; she will get over this. She will not hate you.”

“I would.”

“Don’t.” I stepped forward again, letting our foreheads meet, closing my eyes. “Please stop beating yourself up over this. There is nothing you can do to change how you feel. Sora understands as much. She won’t hate you and neither should you hate yourself.”

Silence followed my declaration and I opened my eyes to look into his deep blues. “Okay?”

“Okay.” He nodded.

We stayed like that; foreheads together, staring into each other’s eyes.

Something unexplainable and illogical took over me and I kissed him. It was the lightest of touches, the briefest of moments, but it happened. Neither of us could deny the fact that it happened.

He looked shocked—an emotion that was most likely mirrored in my own eyes, in addition to the myriad of other emotions I was feeling.

Yamato opened his mouth, but I beat him to it: “I’m sorry! Shit! I’m so sorry! I really shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry!”

I was panicking. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of almost a year, and now his best friend had gone ahead and kissed him. Talk about trying to get someone on the rebound...

“Sorry.” He said, looking down again. That one word made my heart shatter to a million pieces.

I swallowed a sob, “Don’t be. You have nothing to apologise for. It was my fault and I shouldn’t have done it. Not right now—probably not ever, but I did it and I can’t do anything apart from apologise.”

He shook his head, glancing up at me briefly, “I’m still sorry. I really can’t do this right now—”

“I know!” I cut in, determined to make sure he won’t feel bad about something that was my fault. “I know it’s a really bad time and that you really don’t need this right now. Can we just forget about it?” He gave me an irritated glare. “For a while, I mean; just until you’re ready to talk about it. Please? I promise I’ll talk to you about this, but, please, for now, can we just forget it happened?”

Yamato let out a long sigh, before nodding. His blue eyes lifted and he gazed at me. “Alright,” he conceded. “I’ll bring it up another time. I just really can’t do this right now.”

I gave him a reassuring smile, “I know and thank you. I promise we’ll talk later. For now, though, we need to get you feeling better, yeah?”

He gave a shaky smile and turned to the unpacked groceries. “I was planning on making rice balls. Is that okay with you, or would you like something else?”

Rice balls: also known as one of the ultimate comfort foods in Japan.

“You know anything’s fine by me.” I grinned and he let out a small chuckle.

“I have some leftover rice, so it won’t take long to make them. Once I’m done, would you like to go to the park and have a picnic?”

His back was turned to me as he was rummaging around the fridge, pulling out the rice, some fillings, and two cans of soft drink. He turned to me with a smile, handing me one of the cans. I returned the smile and nodded at his suggestion. I was extremely grateful that he was ignoring the kiss and acting normal.

Yamato grabbed his dark blue apron, looping it over his head and tying the bow at the back with practised ease. I had never been able to do that and—if I ever had to or wanted to cook—Yamato had to do the bow for me.

“Yama?” I asked from my seat at the kitchen table. Yamato was making the rice balls at the counter. I saw his posture stiffen. “About today...”

“What about it?” His tone was slightly harsh, but I didn’t let that deter me.

“How long have you been planning on breaking up with Sora? Why today?”

He sighed, placing yet another finished rice ball to the side. His pale hands returned to the rice container, scooping out a handful. “It’s been coming for almost a year now.”

“So you mentioned, but why now?”

Yamato shrugged. “I just decided to stop being a coward, stop fooling myself, stop deceiving her...” He shrugged again, more hopeless this time. “I just had to end it now, or hurt her even more.”

“But if you knew from the beginning why wait this long?”

“I guess I just wanted to try. She asked me out and I liked her enough, so I agreed. I wanted to learn to love her like she loves me, but it just didn’t happen. I just finally gave up today.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.

He just shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s all my fault anyway. I just hope that Sora lets someone else love her—someone better for her.”

Silence followed.

“I called Jyou.”

“Huh?” I looked at his back, wondering where this had come from.

“I called Jyou after I sent you that message. I told him that Sora and I broke up, and that she probably needed comfort.”

I was still confused. “Why Jyou?”

Yamato threw an amused look over his shoulder. “He likes her, didn’t you know?”

My eyes widened. “What?!” The blond turned around to face me, arms crossing over his chest, face neutral. “Jyou likes Sora? Since when? I thought he liked Mimi!”

Yamato rolled his blue eyes at me. “That was ages ago and he doesn’t like her like that anymore.”

“Why Sora?”

“Why not? She’s great: she’s nice, caring, smart, pretty... The list goes on.”

“Why don’t you date her, then?” My statement was followed by a few seconds of stunned silence and I paled. “Shit. Sorry. I really shouldn’t have said that...”

“It’s ok.” He said, back to me, head down.

“No, it’s not.” I stood, going over to Yamato. “I’m really sorry. You know me: I don’t always think before speaking...” I wrapped my arms around him. “Feel free to punch me if you want.”

“Can I?” He asked, slightly humorously.

I smiled into the back of his neck. “I’m going to regret this, but sure.”

He turned around in my arms—for a moment I thought he really would punch me—and hugged me back. We spent a few minutes in silence; I offered comfort, whilst he composed himself again.

He pulled back a bit and I bumped my forehead to his. “Are you done with the rice balls?”

Yamato smiled, “Yeah. Let’s head out and get some fresh air.”

“And sun. Lord knows you need it.” I winked at him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

His ocean-blue eyes told me that he was extremely grateful for my company and the normalcy of my actions.

-o-o-o-

As the weeks progressed, Sora and Yamato’s relationship stabilised. They sorted through their issues and became close friends again. In addition, Sora and Jyou had gone on a few dates. They hadn’t announced anything yet, but both seemed quite happy with the concept.

I was quite happy, too: Yamato and I were spending most of our free time together, going on ‘dates.’ At the end of most, I debated whether to walk him home and kiss him at his doorstep. Obviously, I didn’t, but the thoughts were there.

It was during one of these ‘dates,’ that Yamato said something that sparked a similar—yet different—train of thought:

“You know,” he said, “breaking up with Sora feels like a breath of fresh air. Somehow, it seems like I’ve been given new life.” He looked at me, eyes sparkling with the joy of life; something I hadn’t seen in about half a year. “I know it sounds weird and a bit mean, but it’s really how I feel.”

We were at the park, sitting on a patch of grass, people-watching, when he dropped the bomb.

I froze; those words stirred something within me. It was like a recording of my own thoughts was being played back to me.

My face must have shown my shock, as Yamato looked worried before looking down in guilt.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “guess that was a really horrible thing to say...”

“No, no, no.” I hastened to correct myself, “I was just—it just...” A blond eyebrow rose. “It just reminded me of something that I thought I’d forgotten.”

A silence was followed by: “Something important?”

“Yes. No. Kind of...”

The following silence was, yet again, punctured by Yamato: “Care to share?”

I hesitated. “I should, though I don’t particularly want to... But I guess it’s about time we do talk about it.”

“Here?” Yamato asked, casting a glance at our surroundings.

I also looked around, then shrugged. “Sure. It’s more open and you’re free to run away if you want.”

Both his eyebrows shot up. “Is this about the kiss?”

I averted my gaze, afraid of his reaction. “Yes.” I took a few seconds to gather my thoughts. “First off, I’m sorry. Not really about _what_ I did, but _when_ I did it—and now I realise that maybe I should start by saying that I like you—like, like like—but that I think you already know, or guessed. So back to my first point—which should now be called my second point, seeing as liking you was the first—anyway, the point about the timing: it was wrong. The timing I mean, but I think I already said that earlier. And I’m rambling like a crazy person—why are you not stopping me?” Finally, I looked up at the now-amused face of my best friend; he was doing his best to contain his laughter. I glared. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re nervous.”

“Of course I’m nervous! I’m confessing here!”

Yamato let out a small chuckle and I sent him another glare.

“Oh, come on.” He gave me a flat look. “I’m your best friend and you should know that I would never hate you for liking me.”

“Yeah,” I shrugged, “but there’s still the possibility of being rejected, even if you don’t hate me.” I paused, hesitating. “So? What’s your reply?”

This time round, Yamato cast his gaze downwards. “Well...”

“Well?”

“Well.” He looked up with determination shining in his eyes. “The main reason I broke up with Sora was that I didn’t feel anything for her. That got me thinking and I realised that I wasn’t really interested in any girls. I’d never questioned my sexuality before, but I started to.” He dropped his gaze again. “I’m still not sure what I am, or what I prefer, but... I would be willing to give it a try with you.” Hastily, he looked up, waving his hands in a frantic, un-Yamato-esque type of way. “I don’t mean that as you just being a test-run or anything; what I mean is that—why are you laughing?”

I was indeed laughing. I could now see what Yamato had found so amusing about my earlier rambling; it was funny watching your best friend fret and worry about words, when I knew exactly what he meant to say. I told him as much, then added: “Does this mean that you wouldn’t object to me taking you out on a date?”

He gave me a shy smile, “Of course I wouldn’t object.”

I grinned idiotically. “You don’t have plans for Saturday, right?” A shake of the head. “Good, then I’ll come pick you up in the morning. How’s ten sound?”

“Sounds good.”

“Great. It’s a date!”

-o-o-o-

Saturday rolled around and brought with it rainy weather. That was fine by me, as my plan was to spend the day indoors with my date.

I rang the bell of the Ishida apartment. Much to my surprise, Yamato’s dad came to open the door.

“Hello, Taichi. Yamato’s just about ready and I’m heading off to work.” I said a ‘hello’ back, as he stepped out and past me. “You boys have fun.” He called out, walking towards the lift.

“We will!” I called back.

“Will we?”

I turned around, facing my date and shot him a grin. “We will.”

“Are we gonna be outside?”

“Nope.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Yamato rolled his eyes, grabbing an umbrella and slipping on his shoes, before stepping out and closing the door behind him.

He was dressed casually, in dark skinny-jeans (which framed his legs quite nicely, I might add) and a bottle-green, button-up shirt with long sleeves. Of course, true to Yamato’s style, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows.

I had a blue polo shirt and—true to _my_ style—shorts. Though these ones were near-black, as opposed to my usual shades of brown.

We left the apartment complex and headed for the nearest bus stop, getting on one of the buses that would take us to the outskirts of town. Yamato was pestering me the entire way, demanding to know where we were going. I remained mute, until we had arrived at our stop and I told him to get out. His blue eyes widened when he realised where we were.

Knowing about his planned future career, I had brought him to the newly opened space museum.

“C’mon.” I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the entrance. I gave the clerk printouts of the tickets I had bought beforehand.

I could tell that Yamato was enjoying himself; I had never seen him expressing so many positive emotions so openly. I was only half-listening to his ramblings, far too engrossed in his eyes and expressions. It was only when we reached a section about supernovae, that what he said caught my attention:

“Did you know that you have stardust running through your veins?”

“Huh?” I asked, startled by the intensity in his gaze. “Stardust?”

“Yeah, stardust.” He turned his head to look at the pictures of the supernovae again. “All iron on this planet comes from supernovae. And the haemoglobin in your blood contains four iron atoms. Thus, you have stardust in your veins.” He face turned to smile at me and I couldn’t help but smile back, thinking that this was Yamato’s way of telling me I was special. Or then he was just a geek. Either way, I was glad he was mine now.

After a few hours of wandering around, we left, hopping on another bus that would take us back towards the city. I had scouted out a few possible places to eat, depending on what kind of food Yamato wanted. Being a gourmet-cook (at least in my opinion), he tended to be quite picky when it came to eating out.

We ended up in a traditional restaurant that was serving hot pot dishes; the rain and humidity were making us feel in-need of something that would warm us up from the inside.

It was around three in the afternoon, when I took Yamato back home.

Yamato unlocked the door, turning to me. “You coming in?”

“Ah, probably not. I should get going.”

“How come?”

“Well... Normally I would take you up on that offer, but we’re dating now, so...”

“That’s one of the perks of dating a friend: you don’t have to act any different.” The statement was accompanied by a smirk and I laughed.

“Fine, fine.” I said, stepping into the apartment after Yamato. “But this time around, I’m kicking your ass at Mario Kart.”

“Whatever.” Yamato said, rolling his eyes. He turned into the kitchen, presumably getting us drinks, as usual.

We settled in front of the TV, drinks on the side, controllers in our hands, waiting for the game to load. Guess Yamato had been right: dating a friend was really not that much different to hanging out with a friend. Save for one thing, of course...

“Hey, Yama?”

“Yeah?” He turned to look at me.

“Can I kiss you?”

He was only momentarily taken aback by the question, but then flashed a smile. “Sure. We are dating, after all.” There was a hint of a challenge in his tone and I rose up to it, leaning in to kiss him. His response was near-immediate.

The kiss itself was simple and short; it was, after all, our first kiss (excluding the one I stole a few months prior).

We started playing afterwards, as if nothing out of the ordinary had taken place. Maybe it hadn’t.

I had thought that dating Yamato would be weird, or awkward, or different, but it was none of those things. It seemed more like a natural next step, rather than a giant leap, or even a small skip.

-o-o-o-

In the weeks that followed, things progressed at very much the same natural pace as on the day of our first official date.

Natural, was also our first real fight as a couple.

Yamato had been nagging me for years about putting more effort into studying and revising, but now, as a couple, his nagging increased tenfold—or then the reason could have been that we were in our final year now. Either way, one day, he really pissed me off and I snapped.

We had been on the way home from school, when he had brought up a math test that was coming up in a few days’ time. He suggested we spend all our free time studying for it; I suggested we do something else and leave studying for the night or morning before. He insisted.

 “Would you just fucking lay off? It’s not like this test is the end of the world; not all of us are aiming to become rocket scientists, so math is not a top priority!”

Blue eyes narrowed dangerously, “Oh yeah? Well, some of us actually care about whether we pass high school and get into a good university. Have you ever even considered which university you’re going to apply to or what you want to do with your life?”

“Of course I’ve considered stuff, but I don’t have to decide now.”

“When will you decide, then? We need to start applying for universities soon and—I don’t know about you—but I don’t want to be stuck in a shitty one.”

“I have plenty of time and I can always get in with my soccer skills.”

“You cannot rely on soccer getting you that far in life!”

We were attracting quite a lot of attention from passersby with our blooming argument.

“Soccer _is_ my life!”

“Oh, please! Get real, Taichi: you’re not going to be able to make soccer your career, no matter how much you want it. At most, you could be a middle school PE coach.”

He managed to hit a nerve. My hands balled into fists at my sides and my voice rose:

“Just because you failed to live out your dream of becoming a rock star, doesn’t mean that no one else should have a chance to live out their own dreams.”

Yamato’s jaw dropped. “That’s not what this is about! And I never really wanted music as my career—but that’s beside the point—”

“No,” I cut him off, “the point is just that. You’re just fucking-bitter and want to ruin life for everyone just because you never made it.”

“Excuse me?!” He was back in my face and—out of the corner of my eye—I could see mothers pulling their kids away from us and to across the road. “I’ve fucking told you that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life playing at gigs! You _know_ this. And you _know_ that you will never make it as a professional soccer player.”

“You don’t know that! I could very well make it!”

“But you won’t!”

“Stop putting me down! I _am_ good and you know it!”

“Good, yes, but that won’t cut it! You need to study and aim for a proper career.”

“My grades are fine as they are.”

“No, they’re not. You won’t get into a good university with your current grades.” Yamato was looking slightly worried at this point.

“Why would I need to get into a top university? If I don’t make it with soccer, then I don’t care what shit-subject I study. Or where.”

Yamato actually hesitated; he cast his head down and bit his lower lip. I waited. His eyes lifted, to look up from under his bangs. “What about us?” The question was quiet, but it knocked the wind right out of my sails.

I gulped. “What _about_ us?”

He lifted his head, eyes narrowing slightly. “I refuse to go to a crappy university just because you can’t make it into a good one.”

I opened my mouth to retort, but swallowed it back and actually thought about the situation. Long-distance relationships were hard and usually didn’t work out. Plus, I didn’t actually _want_ to be apart from Yama for that long.

He had clearly been thinking about his future and now it seemed like he was questioning my part in it. Would he be ok without me in his future? Would he choose university and his astrophysicist career over me?

I looked at his face and saw the answer so plain and clear that it broke my heart: yes.

-o-o-o-

Needless to say, I blew it on the math test; I tried studying, but the argument I had had with Yamato kept playing itself round and round in my head.

It had been almost a week since we had last spoken to each other. I had walked off that day and we had yet to resolve anything. Both of us were avoiding the other and it seemed like the end had come. What could I do? Yamato apparently didn’t give a flying fuck whether I was in his future. I wanted to be in his, and I wanted him in mine, but how would I get it to work? I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life.

Yamato had been right: I would not make it as a professional soccer player. Or even as a professional coach. Or manager. So what would I do?

I spent hours online in the library, looking at different career options. None were that interesting, but I had to find something and soon. We were about half-way through our final year, so university application period was almost upon us.

It was during one of these career-searching sessions that Sora came up to me, looking cross.

“Taichi.” She said dangerously. Her hands were on her hips, and her foot was tapping against the ground. I felt like a little kid being scolded by his mother.

“Yes?”

“Apologise to Yamato.”

I was taken aback. “What?”

“Apologise to him. Right now.”

I turned back to the computer. “Why don’t you go tell him to apologise to me first?”

“I have, but he’s too afraid that you won’t forgive him.”

I turned back towards her. “What?”

Sora’s demeanour deflated. “He’s been calling me and talking to me at school and fretting about your argument. He thinks you’re really pissed off at him and will never forgive him. Is this true?”

“No, so why don’t you go tell him—”

“I won’t tell him anything. This is your guys’ fight, so please leave me out of it and sort it out for yourselves.”

“Why don’t you tell _him_ this?”

She bristled. “I told you that I won’t tell him anything anymore. Jyou’s been asking me why I’ve started spending so much time with him again. It’s _your_ problem, so _you_ sort through it.”

I furrowed my brow. “I didn’t know Jyou was the jealous type.”

Amber eyes narrowed. “He’s not jealous, he’s insecure. Just like Yamato.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It _means_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes, “that Yamato thinks it’s all over and that you never want anything to do with him anymore. He’s been stressing and crying and it’s disrupting his studies, which makes him stress even more.”

“Why doesn’t he come talk to me, then? Why do I have to be the one to approach him?”

“Because he’s afraid of pissing you off even more and ruining things.”

“Bit too late for that, isn’t it? He clearly doesn’t need me in his life.”

Sora let out a sound of frustration. “You idiot! He _does_ want you in his life, which is why this is such a problem! He’s scared of making the first move because he’s scared of being rejected and left alone. Permanently.”

“So why don’t you tell hi—”

“I. Told. You.” Sora gritted out. “ _I_ won’t have anything to do with your stupid fights anymore. Your fight is jeopardising my relationship with Jyou.”

I felt bad for her and it clearly showed in my eyes, as Sora calmed down and gave me a motherly look.

“Taichi, you’re the child of courage. Use it, please. If not for your and Yamato’s sake, then for mine and Jyou’s. You guys belong together—I know it.”

I stood and smiled at her, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Sora. I promise we’ll sort through our issues.” I gave her a final squeeze before letting go. “If the child of love says that we belong together, then I better believe it, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “you’d better believe it.”

We parted ways after that; she went looking for Jyou, and I for Yamato. We had a lot of things to say to each other.

I stopped by a convenience store on the way to Yamato’s place.

I rang the bell.

Yamato opened the door, blue eyes widening when he saw me. I pushed myself into his apartment and into his arms, digging my face into his neck.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

He overcame his shock and hugged me, muttering the same thing back.

I pulled away, stepped back, and lifted my arm up between us, offering him the bouquet I had purchased. His face softened into a smile, which he hid in the roses.

I smiled gently back, letting myself further into the apartment and closing the door behind me.

“I really am sorry.” Yamato said, looking at me sadly. “I was completely out of line—”

“No you weren’t and you know it. _I_ know it.” I sighed, leading him into the lounge. This was going to be a long talk.

I plopped down onto the sofa, but he excused himself and went into the kitchen, to put the roses in a tall glass. Apparently he wasn’t used to getting flowers, so he didn’t own a vase.

Upon returning, he sat down close to me and leaned his head on my shoulder. “I honestly can’t apologise enough. First, for all the things I said. Second, for causing the argument. Third, for not coming to apologise. F—”

I kissed him, to shut him up.

“That’s enough, Yama. Let’s just agree that we’re both sorry, forget about the whole thing, and plan what we’re going to do with our future. Okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, eyes tearing up. “Sorry.”

I bumped my forehead to his. “Stop saying sorry and tell me where you plan on applying to.”

He pulled back, cocking his head. “Where do you plan on applying?”

“Wherever you will go.”

He was taken aback for a few seconds, but then he smirked lightly. “I think there’s a song about that.”

I laughed; glad to be back to a semblance of normalcy. “I think you’re right.” Then I sobered up. “So? Where?”

He took a breath, looking at his hands in his lap. “Kyoto would be my first choice, but it’s quite hard to get into, so I’m not banking on it. Nagoya is second, Hokkaido third, and Tokyo fourth.”

I nodded, making up my mind. “I’ll apply for anything in all those cities.”

Yamato looked at me in confusion. “What will you be studying?”

“I won’t necessarily study anything; I might just look for jobs for now and decide what I want to do later.”

“But—”

“But nothing.  I will follow you to wherever you decide to go. I want to be with you.”

“But, Taichi, that’s the whole problem!”

I think my heart stopped.

He took note of the look on my face and shook his head. His eyes strayed to somewhere on my right. “That’s not how it was meant to sound. What I mean is—I want to be with you, too, by the way—but what I meant to say was that I can’t ask you to give up that much and cast aside your own plans, just because I’m too selfish to settle for anything other than the best astrophysics universities in Japan.”

“Yama, Yama, Yama.” I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him into my chest, and held him tight. “I don’t have any plans, so I don’t care where I go. And you’re not selfish: you’ve been working really hard and you deserve to go to the best university!” I gave him a squeeze and rubbed his back. “Don’t worry about me and what I’ll be doing; just do what’s best for you, ok?”

He was silent. I pulled back slightly, so I could see his face. He was crying.

Gently, I took his face into my hands, wiping the tears with my thumbs. I kissed his forehead. “Please don’t cry, Yamato.”

“Sorry...” He sniffled, trying to draw back, but I kept him close. He wiped at his face angrily. “Sorry... It’s just been such a long week and I’ve missed you and I was afraid I’d blown it all and I’ve been so stressed and dad’s been so supportive and now you’re being so supportive and understanding and I really don’t deserve either of you and—”

I kissed him gently, again silently telling him to shut up and calm down.

After a few minutes, Yamato had composed himself enough to pull away. He placed his hands on his lap and stared at them. “I’m sorry. I’m being such a baby about this...”

“But you’re my baby.” That got a small laugh out of him. I smiled, but it was short-lived. “Seriously, though, just do what’s best for you and don’t worry about what I’ll be doing, okay?”

“But are you sure? I mean, you _are_ basing your entire future on _my_ choice. What if I’m not cut out to be an astrophysicist? What if I’m making the wrong choice? What if I’m ruining everyone’s life by making a stupid choice?”

“What if you’re making the right choice? What if this will lead to the best possible outcome for all involved? We don’t know these things, Yamato.” I took one of his hands in mine, rubbing his knuckles gently with my thumb. “We just have to be brave and take the plunge.”

“I know,” he mumbled, “and if this were just about me, then I would be taking the risk and just doing it, but it’s also about your future and I don’t want you to end up hating me for making a bad choice. And same about dad: he’s saved up a lot of money, so that I could go to any university I want and not have to work part-time whilst there. So, what if I fail and can’t keep up with the workload, or if I’m too dumb to understand the physics, or just fail in general? Too much depends on _my_ choice, Taichi!”

I was a bit stumped; I would probably be freaking out, too, if I were in his shoes.

“Well...” I started, carefully formulating my consolation. “If you look at it from a different point of view, then you’re the only one left that hasn’t made a choice yet. Your dad decided to save up some money for you, and I chose to follow you wherever you go. Now it’s your turn to make a choice.”

Yamato eyed me sceptically. “I don’t know if that makes the situation any better...”

“Doesn’t make it worse, does it? Besides, you won’t fail or be too dumb; the university will see your grades and—if they think either of those things—then they won’t accept you. So you don’t have to worry about failing once you get in somewhere; you won’t get in, if your grades aren’t top-notch.” I was proud of my logic. That is, until I realised how it could be taken. “I don’t mean to say that you’re dumb, or that you’ll be rejected, or that you have bad grades—we both know that you have some of the best grades in our year. All I meant was that that option of flunking out doesn’t even exist!”

He laughed. He actually had the nerve to laugh at me and my attempts at correcting myself. Here I am, trying to be the rational, reassuring, consoling one, and he laughs at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest, pouting.

Although—as he looked at me with laughter in his deep blue eyes—I couldn’t help but feel that I had somehow, miraculously helped him and fixed everything.

-o-o-o-

After Yamato and I had made up, he had agreed to help me improve my grades. What this meant was me getting rewarded with kisses (and sometimes with something a bit more) for getting my homework done or passing exams.

The teachers were impressed by my efforts, but—seeing as we were at the end of the school year already—those efforts had little impact on my grades overall.

I also figured out what I wanted to do with my future (apart from spend it with Yamato). I had applied for extra courses, which would enable me to start teaching PE at the elementary or middle school level. I figured that I could move up to high school once I got enough experience. Or then I would move on to study something else. I still didn’t have a long-term plan, but I was fine with that; I would be happy teaching kids for the next few years.

Yamato was happy that I was sending out applications and actively working on my future, though he was still worried about his own acceptance. I knew he would be able to go to Kyoto University like he wanted, so I had focused most of my application efforts over there.

Currently, I was over at Yamato’s house, lying in bed, waiting for Yamato to finish with his turn in the bathroom. It was the last night before our graduation ceremony and—despite my mum’s protests—I would spend tonight and tomorrow night with Yamato.

“Hey, Taichi?” Yamato said, as he snuggled into my side.

“Yeah?” I drew him closer.

“You don’t have plans for the break, do you?”

We were finishing high school and wouldn’t be hearing back from universities for at least a month, so we had the entire four weeks off—not having to worry about homework, or studying, or applications.

“No. Why?”

“Well,” Yamato seemed uncertain, but pushed it aside. “I was thinking of going somewhere. Like on holiday. Just the two of us.” My eyes widened. A holiday with Yama? Sign me up! “How would Okinawa sound?”

“Sounds great! I’ve never been and the beaches look gorgeous and the food is great!”

Yamato looked up at me from his position at my side, smiling widely. “Really? You want to go?” I nodded enthusiastically, already planning how we would go about the whole thing and how we would pay for it. “Great. I’ll start booking stuff the day after tomorrow—seeing as we probably won’t have much free time tomorrow. I’ve already been looking up some hotels and plane tickets—you know, just to make sure it was even feasible. I’ll be paying for everything, so you don’t have to worry about that; just tell me what you want to do and see and I’ll take care of it.”

I was speechless. “What?”

“What ‘what?’”

“Why are you paying for it? And with what money?”

A fine, blond eyebrow rose. “I have money from gigs, remember? And since dad insists on paying for university, I don’t have to worry about saving it for the tuition. Plus,” he blushed slightly. “I want to do something for you. You’ve been so understanding and supportive, and I know you will continue to be, no matter what the outcome of this whole thing is.” I knew ‘this whole thing’ meant his choice of university, career, and out future. “I know you’ll keep loving me, no matter what my choices lead to.”

I leaned over to kiss him, letting him know how right he was. He smiled and snuggled further into my side. We fell asleep like that.

The next morning, we woke to the sound of the alarm beeping at 6:30. The ceremony didn’t start until 9, but Yamato wanted to get up early, just to make sure that everything would go smoothly and that we wouldn’t have to rush.

Yamato went to take a shower, whilst I got some coffee going (about the only thing I could be trusted with in the kitchen). Yama came out of the bathroom in a pair of boxers and towel wrapped like a turban on his head. Needless to say, he looked hot—damp and wearing practically nothing. My thoughts must have shown on my face because he frowned at me.

“No.”

“What?” The question came out at a higher pitch than I had intended.

“Stop thinking about whatever you’re thinking about and go take a shower, whilst I start making breakfast.”

Yama cooking in nothing but his boxers and apron?

“Taichi!” He slapped me around the head and I grinned sheepishly.

“Fine, fine.” I muttered, walking towards the bathroom.

Once I got out, Yamato was sipping coffee, whilst placing plates and bowels onto the dining table. He looked up at me and smiled.

I had been right: he was in nothing, but his dark blue apron and black boxers. I had thrown on a random, light grey t-shirt and pair of black boxers.

“Food’s done. I’ll just go throw on some clothes and we can eat.”

Bummer.

He smiled at my pout, giving me a lingering kiss as he passed.

“Later, okay?” He whispered before walking off.

I grinned, moving to sit down. Yamato joined me less than a minute later, in a white t-shirt and dark red basketball shorts. I didn’t know he owned anything that casual.

After we had eaten, we started getting ready for the ceremony. Our school had given us instructions on what to wear—black suits with a white tie. We had both rented the suits, since we might still grow, and probably wouldn’t need them again for a while.

We helped each other get dressed, adjusting ties and rearranging the jackets. I have to say, we both looked good, especially standing together.

Our whole class had been allocated seats, based on name, so Yamato and I had to split up. Once everyone in the auditorium audience had settled down, we stood to sing the national anthem, followed by our high school’s anthem. That was followed by speeches from the principal and a few guest speakers; I didn’t pay too much attention to the speeches, but they were all about leaving childhood and friends behind and moving on to greater things. About starting a new life.

Those words got me thinking again. I glanced up the row at Yamato, sitting with his back straight, looking for all the world like he was paying attention. Fat chance. We had spoken that morning about how boring the speeches would likely be.

Anyway, the principal’s words had triggered my thoughts from years ago.

The fight with Piemon. Me worried it was all over. Seeing Yamato arriving. Thinking he was like an angel. Realising my feelings for him. The new life he had granted me in that moment.

I had been wrong about that.

I had been wrong in thinking that he had granted me a new life in that moment. He hadn’t, not then. I had managed to survive, thanks to him, but my new life wouldn’t start until years later from that moment.

It hadn’t even started now, not really. These past few months, since our mutual confessions in the park, were just the preface.

I looked at Yamato and smiled widely when I noticed he was looking at me, too.

 _Our_ new life would start once we moved to university.

Eventually they started calling out names. One by one, students got up and walked up to the stage to receive their diploma.

Yamato was called up before me and I could hardly hold back the tears as my heart filled with pride. He looked so happy, receiving his diploma, and bowing to the principal, then to the audience. I clapped the hardest and was the last to stop. Yamato had sent me a huge grin before leaving the stage.

After around eight more students, my name was called. I walked to the stage, feeling slightly nervous for some reason. As I took the scroll into my hands, however, the nervousness was replaced by pure joy and I grinned broadly as I gave my bows.

I could see my parents and Hikari clapping and crying in the audience. Yamato’s father and Takeru were also there, wiping at their eyes in-between claps. Lastly—just as I was leaving the stage—I looked at my boyfriend. His eyes shone with a similar pride that I had felt for him. It was the best feeling in the world, to be on the receiving end of such a strong emotion.

The rest of the ceremony passed by in a blur; we sang a few more songs and returned to our homerooms for our yearbooks and personalised goodbyes from our teacher. I was, once again, ignoring the speech. We then had the freedom to mingle and say our goodbyes to our classmates. I was chatting with some soccer friends, whilst Yamato had been attacked by a group of girls—all presumably confessing. I grinned at the thought that he was mine and they could never have him.

Once we were released, we met up with our families on the school grounds. I was practically smothered by hugs from my family. Glancing over, I saw that even Hiroaki hugged his son—something I don’t think he has ever done before. I could tell that Yamato was deeply moved by the gesture, but he tried to hide it by giving his brother a noogie.

Our families met up and my mum and sister hugged Yamato, whilst my dad shook his hand in congratulation. I got handshakes from his father and Takeru.

We chatted for a while, agreeing to meet at the Ishidas’ for dinner that evening. Then, I proceeded to drag Yamato off, telling our families that we were going to go say goodbye to some of our other classmates again.

“Taichi,” Yamato said, dragging his feet slightly. “Where are we going? We already said goodbye to everyone, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“I know. There’s just something that I regret not doing and I want to do it, since I will never have the chance again.”

This, apparently, caught Yamato’s interest and he picked up his pace. “What is it?”

Instead of replying, I continued to pull him along, into the school, and down the stairs. The school’s gyms and changing rooms were located on the bottom floor. I pulled him inside the boy’s locker room.

“Taichi?”

I pulled him forward by the arm I was still gripping, and kissed him. He returned the kiss with fervour.

The kiss escalated a bit, with me shoving Yamato against the metal lockers—which, of course, made a huge noise. We ignored the noise, preferring to continue our make-out session. Yamato’s hands were in my hair, tugging and pulling, whilst I molested his hips and ass.

We stopped before any clothes started coming off, panting hard.

“I regret never having kissed you in school.” I managed to get out, in-between pants.

Yamato laughed under his breath, giving me a last, gentle kiss.

-o-o-o-o-o-


End file.
